Chayei Sara: Living by Chesed

Chayei Sara - meaning “the life of Sara” - is a bit of a misleading title for this week’s portion since it opens, instead, with Sara’s passing. The first matriarch of the Jewish people passes away and her husband, Abraham, goes about finding a proper place of burial for her in their new, shared homeland.

After the period of mourning has passed, Abraham’s thoughts turn to the future and particularly to his son, Isaac. Abraham has the responsibility to make sure that the covenant he has agreed to with God is passed on to the coming generations. He understands that the best way to do this is to find a worthy partner and companion for Isaac. Abraham tasks his senior servant, Eliezar, with finding her. 

Eliezar travels far from Abraham’s camp, arrives at a great city, and waits by the well outside the city walls. There, he prays to God for guidance in helping to find the right woman for Isaac. In his prayer he asks for God to show him this person through her kindness not only to him but also to his camels. 

At dusk, the women of the city all came down to the well to fill jugs with fresh water for their families. One of the women, Rebecca, finished filling her jug when Eliezar asked if he could have a sip. Without hesitation, she gave him a drink of water and, seeing his ten camels, went back to fill a trough so that they might drink as well. Through her tremendous act of generosity for a complete stranger, Eliezar knew that he had found the one for Isaac. 

The rabbis of our tradition teach that Rebecca is chosen because of her acts of chesed shel emet - true kindnesses - acts of loving compassion that come with no expectation of recognition or reward. These types of acts are particularly lauded by our tradition because of their selflessness, because they increase the amount of chesed - kindness - and ahava - love - in the world. 

I find that it is often difficult to see chesed shel emet in the world today. There is so much noise. So much of what is platformed on news sites or social media is people behaving in ways that are directly opposed to chesed shel emet. There is so much outrage. There is also so much schadenfreude when the plans of those who have created our outrage fall apart. In a time in which it feels that Jew-hatred is slowly being normalized on both extremes; when I hear stories of community members, particularly our young people, dealing with instances of hate in their schools, I admit that I lose sight of the expectation to engage in acts of love and kindness. 

That is why this week’s portion is so significant, why our tradition’s expectation that we engage in acts of chesed shel emet is so important. When my perspective on my own life begins to become untethered, when I allow myself to get caught up in the chaos, I lose sight of what is truly important. We cannot control everything, but what we can control is who we are and what we put into the world. Rebecca sets the example: Perform acts of chesed shel emet - put more kindness and love into the world for no reason other than it is the correct thing to do. And maybe, just maybe, our acts of chesed shel emet will show others that there is a more peaceful, more hopeful way to move through the world. 

Shabbat Shalom.